There is a neat little game called “What’s your gender?” which can be played in the browser. It is rather casual way to explore trans and adjacent topics. It takes only some 15-20 minutes to play.

I found this blog post, titled The Null HypotheCis, to be pretty helpful when I was questioning. To summarize, basically it can be helpful to stop treating being cis as the default, and treat both cis and trans as equal possibilities. That can be a much better way to frame things, as it allows you to consider if you are cis in the same way you are trying to consider if you are trans. For me, that made it much clearer that I wasn’t cis.

So to put it another way - you listed a few reasons you think you’re trans, but it’s worth asking yourself what reasons you have for thinking you’re cis. And how do those two stack up against each other?

I never cross dressed before accepting my trans identity either. And my private part does not make me uncomfortable. These are not requirements for being trans. As far as the rest of your post goes, I would not say your experience is “very different,” in fact it seems very similar to my own and other trans women who I know.

Hi, I’m a trans feminine non-binary person. The label that fits the closest to me is “demi-girl”. I relate to a lot what you say, I enjoy many “traditional” male hobbies, and I also like my penis.

Ultimately, my goal is to just try to be me. Do what seems right, and shape my body to how I’d like it to look. I do not care to pass, or to “fit in” as a cis woman. I take hormone replacement therapy, and that is sufficient for my goals.

When it comes to transness for me, a lot of it is about my own bodily autonomy, it’s very internal so to say. I do all of this for myself, ultimately. Sure, it’s risky, and I can occasionally get harassed for it, but it has made me much happier and allowed me to actively enjoy my life.

One thing I highly recommend is finding queer and trans communities online, such as on discord. Trans people you can just talk to as friends. It helps a lot in normalizing everything, and gives you a safe place to explore and just be yourself.

Confusion is normal, I used to be confused a lot, until I basically… “Gave up”, and just did what felt right, and over time things became less confusing and more clear.

If there’s anything more you’re curious about or want to ask me about, feel free to do so!

Heya! Just wanted to say, I had a very similar experience to you before coming out. I have no plans to pursue bottom surgery as I’m fine with my equipment, I never really had an issue being perceived as male until my 20s, and I was also bullied quite a bit when I was younger with other kids calling me gay and plenty of other derogatory terms. I also have stereotypically “male” hobbies and interests like video games, comics, sci-fi, and other nerdy shit.

I mention all of this to say, there really is no “checklist” or set of requirements for someone to be trans or queer. You don’t have to be girly, you don’t have to have genital dysphoria, you don’t need to have suffered dysphoria for your whole childhood. Tomboys exist, nonbinary people exist, genderfluid people exist… you don’t have to conform to any stereotype in order to be your true self. Also, some of us are just late bloomers or take a while to understand what we’ve been feeling.

I’m not saying you are or are not trans. Your self discovery is your own journey and you shouldn’t let others influence that, but that also works both ways. Nobody can tell you you’re trans, and nobody can tell you your cis, or anything outside or in-between. That is for you to figure out through your own self discovery.

I would encourage you to explore your thoughts and feelings, and perhaps look into seeing a counselor to help work through them if that is a feasible option (though be sure to find one that is LGBT+ friendly and won’t just write this off).

Wishing you the best of luck in your journey, wherever that may lead 💜

I used to think I’m not trans enough, that the thoughts I might’ve had were just about my gender expression, that I’d be alright with being a femboy, that I wouldn’t ever feel a desire to change parts of my body.

But once I got to it, I just couldn’t help but browse the trans and egg memes, read the stories, see the pictures. Not all, but many of them felt relatable to me.

But I guess how the veil of “I just want to be a feminine guy” came down was thinking of if I wanted everyone to think of me as a man for the rest of eternity. I felt the pressures of toxic masculinity already trying to punish me through being labeled as “gay”.

Once I realized I didn’t want to be a guy, I just had to figure out where to go from there. I was already transgender at that point. All the validation of “real trans people” which I hadn’t previously thought of as applying to me was all the sudden empowering. I couldn’t really believe it at first, how unlike would it be that I would be trans. But I guess someone has to play that part. And since I am trans, I can nudge or redefine my identity anywhere I feel like…

Throughout all of these, journaling really helped. Writing down daily thoughts, often about gender, did help me see the thought patterns.

I now feel like there is no me without being transgender. I don’t wish to be normal. If you take away my transness, you take away a core part of me.

That’s why I am now slowly planning to transition.

I don’t want people to see me without a core part of me being there.

I got this book, and while I haven’t gotten very far through it, it seems veery promising.

https://transreads.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/2021-11-15_6191b0774ce6e_YOUANDYOURGENDERIDENTITY.pdf

Hello, I am a cis dude but a lot of what you said sorta resonates with me (and call me an egg if you like lol, ask me again in a few years) but I feel pretty comfortable being a dude, even if I act feminine sometimes and feel more comfortable in queer spaces and wear skirts and the occasional wanting to be a woman, I don’t feel any dysphoria or anything like what a lot of trans folk experience so I’ve always felt comfortable just being a dude, sometimes I enjoy masculine traits, sometimes feminine, but it’s never particularly changed how I feel about my gender.

I know you’re probably more after trans experiences but just felt like we had some things in common so maybe you’d appreciate some other perspectives.

everyone’s experience with gender is different, that’s why online tests don’t really work. you might not want to call yourself trans despite feeling like you don’t fit in your AGAB, just as wel as you may call yourself trans even if you do feel like it. it’s all a matter of what makes you comfortable and what that label means for you when you use it.

for example, in my local LGBTQ+ community, transgender is viewed as a term specifically for people who still fit in the gender binary (MTF or FTM) but not non-binary people. I think that is horseshit and NB erasure, and as a non-binary person, i use the term trans anyway to describe myself, despite not being ‘trans’ in the way my local community would use it.

i can’t tell you that you’re trans or that you’re not. that’s for you to decide. what i can tell you however is that cisgender people don’t cry about not being born a woman, but i’ll give you that they don’t generally ask themselves these questions in the first place. you also may or may not (again, up for you to decide) be genderfluid, where the gender you feel like may fluctuate.

as far as experimenting with your gender, there are many safe online spaces in which you are free to experiment with pronouns, names and labels. as always, labels are not fixed and neither are people, so feel free to change a label you describe yourself with if you feel like it isn’t you anymore. a label is a language tool that you use to communicate with others about what you experience. if i tell you i am bisexual and nonbinary, i am offering you information about how i feel about myself in a succint way, just like i could tell you what city i live in and that would tell you some things about myself.