I say “god damn you” to unwork the broken blessing system.
Instead try this: Say “What?” And stare at them. Wait for them to explain. Act as though you do not know what a sneeze is. Allow them to explain the process of a sneeze. Tell them you have never experienced that in your life. Wait for them to get exasperated then in a dismissive way mention that you aren’t sure you believe them, and change the subject.
Congratulations, you have won this interaction.
The ol’ smooth shark maneuver
I like to say “acknowledged!” like Picard
“I’m going to sneeze.”
“Make it so!”
“You may fire when ready.”
“fire at Will.”
His name is spelled with one “l”; “Wil”
(He’ll probably block me for that, if he’s on Lemmy)
Steady…
I always say “shut up” in the most annoyed way possible.
Lol
I don’t see anything wrong with gesundheit. It means health. And really I feel like the German expression is just saying - be healthy dammit, and stop sneezing!
You can also say “Schönheit – gesund biste ja”: “Beauty – you’re already healthy after all”
That’s what my German grandfather taught me to say and it’s what I say.
It used to be something to say to yourself. A little “fuck I hope I’m not next” prayer.
I started saying “Gesundung” as a joke 10 years ago, and now I can’t stop. It’s not a real word, but if it were it would mean “Getting healthy”. Seemed more appropriate to me at the time, and still kinda does.
People who intentionally yell when they sneeze can fuck off.
It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you’re having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there’s a reason some people scream-sneeze.
I vocalize pretty loudly when I sneeze and it’s entirely involuntary. I hate that I do it and I’ve tried to force myself to stop and it doesn’t work.
Gesundheit
Prosit
Mahlzeit!
“Fucking grow up.”
This was covered extensively on an episode of Seinfeld
You’re soooooo good looking.
“I hate when you do that”
That’s my favorite
I like “cleanup aisle 5!”
sneeze once “Bless you.”
Sneeze twice “Gesundheit.”
Sneeze three times “Ok now you’re just fishing for attention.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” - in a Siri voice “Nah, I’m good, thanks though.” “Dude! You scared the crap outta me!”
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Ashley Johnson’s reactions to Sam Riegel sneezes
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
“Satan curse you”
