Oh same on the internalized gay is bad. Growing up I got made fun of for anything that I did that could be remotely interpreted as gay. I didn’t really accept myself being bi until my 30s because I felt this intense shame every time I felt anything towards men. I was constantly hiding my real self and so paranoid of anyone noticing something real about me in case they would start to put it together and expose me. I still haven’t really gotten over those feelings completely. A lot of that is neurodivergent masking as well. Shit’s complicated.
Oh same on the internalized gay is bad. Growing up I got made fun of for anything that I did that could be remotely interpreted as gay. I didn’t really accept myself being bi until my 30s because I felt this intense shame every time I felt anything towards men. I was constantly hiding my real self and so paranoid of anyone noticing something real about me in case they would start to put it together and expose me. I still haven’t really gotten over those feelings completely. A lot of that is neurodivergent masking as well. Shit’s complicated.