Grad school really took a heavy toll on my mental health, but it didn’t take my love of the field. Diving into the literature on plant development was… Like, I would go for a walk outside and look at all the foliage and it was like I could see the code of the matrix. Auxin flowing along the edges, pooling to form leaves and lobes and then diving down into the interior to form vascular connections. CUC expressing in the primordia then hollowing out to define the boundaries. PINs relocalizing to reenforce the auxin flow. Ad/abaxial gene cohorts defining the leaf polarity and thereby orientation. It was like some wonderful second sight that showed me worlds that had once been hidden to me. It was this almost transcendental experience and I’ve never forgotten it even as I’ve moved on other fields.
I’ve never had quite the same experience since, but I still have found that, to me, learning what’s behind the mystery often makes it more magical, not less
Academia killed my love of reading. I can’t even read for pleasure anymore
That’s what high school did to me. I had a nasty reading disability (still do) but these days I just reread shit when it doesn’t sink in. And if I still don’t get it, I just keep rereading it until it finally does. Simple, right? Well high school me spent god knows how long obsessing over how to fix my reading problems, even though the solution was pretty simple
Skill issue. Learning to love an academic discipline beyond the flashy YouTube video level and into the depths of actually doing it every day involves, among other things, a lot of work, such as when you reconceptualize what it’s all about and where the beauty lies.
“I fucking love science” and loving science are different games.
I love fucking science
I went to grad school for speech language pathology, so I’ve read plenty of academic articles. I always thought they were incredibly depressing. So ever since grad school, I have imagined scientists as people who are constantly overworked, underpaid, and depressed
I mean, I’m an expert in three fields. I only love the music one. The other two (subfields of economics and tax) can suck my dick and ovaries
deleted by creator
???
They tought us about imaginary numbers in A levels (16-17) here, do they not even teach them in undergrad in the US??? I struggle to believe that.
OP isn’t referencing “the imaginary numbers” as in the set of numbers that are multiples of the square root of -1. They’re referencing the fact that in grad school, you’re told “forget everything you’ve been taught about math up to now. We’re going to start with a couple of basic assumptions, and extrapolate all of Cartesian Algebra (the math taught in preschool through undergrad) from those assumptions. Now, let’s see what other algebras we can create by changing those assumptions.”
The only two “numbers” that need to exist to derive all of Cartesian Algebra are zero (additive identity) and one (multiplicative identity). All other numbers are just convenient identifiers that can be extrapolated rather than assumed, hence the overly simplified “all numbers are imaginary”.
This is similar to other STEM subjects, like how in Physics you’re taught Newtonian physics, then you’re taught why Newtonian physics is just a tiny subset of relativistic physics, and then in grad school you are taught everything you know is just a tiny subset of quantum mechanics. What’s taught in undergrad is “good enough” for your average person to do really complex things in typical day to day life, but for someone dedicating their academic career to the subject, they need to learn the dirty, overly complex details to have a true understanding of the subject.
They taught you that “all numbers are imaginary” in A levels?
They’re just memeing
I love 3D art, and I want to make games eventually. I remember using my cracked copy of 3D Studio MAX to experiment and try things “just to see real quick!” when I was supposed to be doing more boring homework like report writing.
I even kept my obsession after a community college semester with the most joy-killing professor on the subject you could ever meet.
I dropped out of college because of life and found Blender, and kept learning as much as I could because I thought it was my ticket to a real job that didn’t involve “How may I help you?” every single day. It was going to be my way out.
Well, just a year or so ago I FINALLY got paid to do a freelance character sculpt. And…It took way longer than I hoped, I hammered on it like every single day, and I haven’t touched Blender since wrapping that project.
I really want to get back to modeling, but it made me realize I definitely don’t want to be an “industry” 3D artist making stuff to someone else’s exacting specifications for money. I still would love to sell a game on Steam or something some day.
…But I put a lot of skill points into these skills already, following what I love…so I’m kinda lost. Business and work is a realm that just makes me nauseous and anxious to think about as the water keeps rising, so to speak.
So I guess I’m saying: don’t make the thing you love your lifeline to surviving capitalist society, because unless that thing is “making money”, doing it for money or clientelle chokes the joy out of most human endeavors.
Yeah, too real. It’s that many people are currently forced to turn their hobbies into their second job to make ends meet
So I guess I’m saying: don’t make the thing you love your lifeline to surviving capitalist society, because unless that thing is “making money”, doing it for money or clientelle chokes the joy out of most human endeavors.
This is a really good quote, thanks.
Man, I feel that deeply. Working in tech has destroyed any joy I got from technology. After several years I got burnt out so badly that I had to take a couple years off
Now here I am, only a couple months back into working and every moment I spend actually doing the work is torture. I used to love it, now I’d be happy to never use technology in a productive way for the rest of my life
I really loved reading until i started middle school. And by the time i graduated i no longer found any enjoyment in reading.
I’ve tried so hard to enjoy it again as an adult because there’s not that academic pressure, but now i even feel apathetic about reading stories I am interested in.
I used to want to write
I used to want to make games for people to play and enjoy
Now I just want to get by and i hate myself for it
It’s not your fault. Don’t hate yourself and don’t give yourself pressure. Relax and maybe it will happen, or maybe it won’t. Either way, don’t push yourself.
I really loved reading until i started middle school. And by the time i graduated i no longer found any enjoyment in reading.
An education system that takes away the enjoyment of reading from people is rotten.
That sounds a bit like burnout, to be honest. I stopped reading for a few years, too, and didn’t even know why, I was just not “in the mood” or at least I thought so. I have picked it up again this year and ultimately realized that my job was stressing me out. I was constantly worried about problems at work, but for reading, you need a calm mind.
Quitting my job and going to another company this year was one of the best decisions ever. Since then I have found time for hobbies (and losing weight) again. I also read on a WiFi-less eBook reader and put my phone into another room, so I cannot get distracted.
I’m gonna be real, idk if there’s a way for me to feel ok about life while I’m stuck working 40hrs+ a week.
And I can’t find a way to live while working less than that. I’m trying so hard to find another option.
Audiobooks helped me get back into reading. It’s a different medium, but I’m still getting the story.
And now I can enjoy a good story and fold laundry or do other chores at the same time.
I like audio books, but i have really bad retention when listening to them. I will just zone out and miss everything. :c
You know the old saying, ‘Get a job doing the thing you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life!’?
That’s really bad advice. Get a job doing something you like, but not your passion. If you burn out on your passion, you’ve lost the thing that brings you joy.
The real advice is to realize that every job has components that are not fun.
There are professional athletes who still love to play their sport, and intend to retire into coaching, but hate dealing with marketing and promos and media availability. Lots hate the travel. Some don’t like some of their teammates or coaches.
I know doctors who hate dealing with the paperwork, and programmers who hate dealing with documentation or testing, and lawyers who hate tracking their timesheets. But each of these are part of the job. The question is whether the entire bundled package deal is a pretty good job or not for yourself.
Yeah, this is 100 percent true. It doesn’t even have to be what you do for a living. I used to really enjoy cooking, but once I got a family and had to cook meals every day, whether I felt like it or not, it became a chore. As chores go, it was still better than most, but it stopped being something I looked forward to.
People always ask why I don’t turn my hobby into a job, and this is the response I give. If the thing I do to unwind from my job becomes my job, what will I do to unwind from my job?
Ah, we’ve solved this in America. You go to your second, minimum wage, job. There your skills will not be valued and your work conditions will much worse
This will leave you exhausted and make you yearn for your normal job again
I work in what a lot of people would call a calling. I’m extremely happy coding, writing and doing research. I got a PHD and even that didn’t kill the joy I get doing it. I work in a big fortune 500 company doing it and that didn’t kill my joy either.
My biggest piece of advice for people afraid to get jobs within their interests is: take care of yourself. You’ve got to find other interests and stabilize yourself when you’re drained. There’s a lot exhaustion overlapping with joy suck here that has nothing to do with no longer enjoying your interest.
Sometimes you’re drained from the job - because it’s a job. Or grad school.
Or the skill / interest is genuinely hard and not as playful as before because you got to a really difficult part, like super advanced mathematics. That’s true with a lot of skills. You go far enough, and it’s genuinely difficult to learn, understand, and grow. And then it’s up to you if you can still find your passion in it or not.
test
🐖
ITALICIZED PIG HELL YEAH
FUCK YEAH I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE
lol TIL
🐈️🔥🔥🔥
I’m very sorry to hear that. I’ve loved biology since I was a child, and my graduation in biology only fueled that love even further.
What it did not fix however was the absolute dread of seeing the natural world a hair strand away from collapse. You’d think some professor would offer you calming words or a path to the future, but guess what, even the top experts are just as panicked as we are.
My dread got way worse after going to college for biology because every class tells you how fucked things are and can point to the science that proves it.
The worst is when family or friends try to tell you “Things won’t be that bad.” No, if anything it’s going to be worse, because we’re doing fuck all to turn things around.
Voting for abusers to run our leadership governments. Fucking retarded population
I used to love computers… still do, but good god do I hate tech companies and all this shit it’s spawned. My last remaining line of defense mentally is that at work we have shifted to a mostly Windows environment, and my interests lie with the Unix side of things.
I’ve lucky enough to be able to fund my study while I’m in middle age.
I took up my degree course because I enjoyed computing and the theory behind it. I enjoy it for the most part, it’s engaging and intriguing. I’m getting some personal and academic development out of it even though it’s got fuck all to do with my “real” career.
I can see people stressed off their tits with it though - people who have a career pinned on success with the degree; people who went to uni because they felt it was just the next natural step; and people who did it because they were told to.
I feel genuinely gutted for them that a topic that brings so much learning and satisfaction can bring another so much stress and anxiety.
Shame.
Mine is being able to self host services that have been enshittified by the tech companies. I tried to watch Fallout on Prime legitimately but their servers couldn’t handle the volume. I had it on my Jellyfin server in the time it would have taken the episode to fully buffer.
all numbers are imaginary
It’s more complex than that
Don’t be irrational
Yeah, let’s be real.
For me it was physics. Was interested in it as a teen, studied it for a degree, and though I did well in it – I just could not look at it as this fun thing. It would even make me angry to read physics posts on reddit where people shared their enthusiasm for certain concepts.
Then I kept reading reddit, had my mind repeatedly blown by things that I thought I understood but clearly didn’t because I was just doing rote memorization to pass exams, and I began to enjoy it again. Now I love it, but it really is amazing what being forced to learn something for little-to-no encouragement other than an exam mark can do to sap your enthusiasm for something
I am a first year student in electronics engineering.
I loved watching fun youtube videos on math (ex. 3blue1brown) but was not fond of high school math, due to the lack of proofs and deeper understanding.
Nowadays the stuff I used to watch for fun turned into my job and I couldn’t be happier. Finally getting to do real science feels good.
Unlike high school math, I loved high school physics but that one was mostly due to my way of learning. Which is with lots of visualisations in my head and lots of calculus to prove the formulas they made us memorize.
These days, even though my books give me the proof right away, I sometimes don’t look at the proof because I miss the magic of fiddling with calculus for hours to find it myself.
I love computers but I felt like my love would diminish if I picked CS as a major. Mostly due to the monotonous nature of the job environment. But i am pretty sure my love for electronics is undying and unlike computing I have heaps to learn about electronics so I picked it.
Is electronics engineering different from electrical engineering?
Electrical engineering includes large-scale power systems, where electronics engineering is mostly small scale instrumentation, computers, etc
Chat, is this ℝ?
OP has a ℂ now.
