Look, guys. I met a goth girl. She’s awesome in every sense of the word, and way smarter than me too. Know how I know this? She wasn’t nearly as into me as I was into her.

She could break my ankles, feed my fingers to animals and burn all my stuff in the name of ending capitalism and I would still think she’s awesome. Plus the NCIS girl isn’t really a cop she’s a forensics analyst isn’t she?

But if she turned out to be a cop? I’m taking her down with me, no one deserves that.