The boss walks in, there’s someone on the phone for you:

  • Phone: “Hi, I’m the leader person behind that book/television/film franchise you complain about online and gee-whiz, you’re right! We want you to run things from here on out.”
  • You: “Do I get supreme retcon powers?”
  • Phone: “Of course! We’ll even retroactively edit in your changes!”

Huh, that was easy. What are you changing?

  • Majestic@lemmy.ml
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    8 hours ago

    Star Trek.

    Everything after Voyager gets axed completely. 100% retconned. Doesn’t exist. You can’t even joke about happenings in it in any new works.

    Voyager and DS9 themselves get trimmed down. DS9 loses 75% of its episodes, Dominion war erased, mundane space station stuff instead, no religious weirdness validated. Voyager gets better ending but retains most of its episodes.

    ToS gets turned into legendary chronicles rather than full canon with the more absurd less science bits cut out or reduced to the fantasies of the chronicler. Main stories and characters retained with >=80% of it surviving. Movies from both ToS and TNG era retain full canon status.

    It is established that alternative dimensions are extremely limited in number, you cannot do Marvel universe #69 stuff with it, the main one is the nega-universe with evil everything and a few other isolated pocket universes that are short-lived and unstable (often as a result of warp core implosion weirdness and such).

    All existing writers and producers currently associated or associated since the end of the Voyager era are summarily fired with prejudice. New ones are hired and quizzed by me to ensure at least the main producers are communists like Roddenberry and do not want to turn my hopeful FALGSC property into grim-dark in space IP number 3. Prominent transgender characters are MANDATORY in the new series and other steps will be taken to drive every last reactionary out of what’s left of the fan-base.

    It becomes studio policy to viciously copyright strike anyone uploading video of retconned parts of the IP to any platform as well as to bully journalist insiders with access into adopting the new line by excluding anyone who disagrees with it from access or favor.

    On Section 31 and ideology

    Section 31 as an organization is rewritten, it exists but is full of the most die-hard communists you’ll ever encounter, they use a modified hammer and sickle with a third more spacey symbol as their crest and do NOT dress like Nazis but like communists in dress and battle uniforms inspired by real world communist movements. They are charged with neutralizing dangerous reactionaries within the federation admiralty and power structure as well as being foreign intelligence. Notes are given to the writers that they are shadowy but heroic, decent, and good as well as very dedicated and the organization screens for and staffs itself with selfless individuals. Several new episodes involving their members getting into time travel and holodeck shenanigans in 1930s, 1940s USSR where they are wowed and amazed at the heroes of old around them.