Might help also to describe what you think feminism is, since it’s one of those terms that is overloaded.
I once had a physical therapist tell me she wasn’t a feminist because she thought women couldn’t be as physically capable as men when serving as soldiers, and seemed to believe feminism requires treating women exactly like men.
I told her I was a feminist because I believe in equal rights for men and women, an idea she did not seem so opposed to.
Yes, bc I support equality. That’s it. That’s all it means. I try to treat others the way I would want to be treated. I try not to be an asshole to others. I know sometimes I fail, but I don’t go out of my way to do it. If somebody tells me I did something incorrect or hurtful, I don’t get offended, I just try to do better in the future if I see them again.
I didn’t know that supporting feminism was just supporting equality until I was an adult bc nobody ever taught me that. It’s not really surprising to me that some people attach other meanings to the word (both positive and negative), or that some people are opposed to it because of whatever negative things they may have attached to it.
It is still very surprising to me that there are people who will openly admit they’re just strongly opposed to equality. From my perspective, if you’re opposed to equality, that means you’re opposed to treating others as you would want them to treat you. You’re intentionally being an asshole, and you kinda forfeit any expectations of respect from other people. I still believe you’re entitled to the same rights as anyone else, but getting called out for being an asshole is not a violation of your rights. Equality means it’s ok to be an asshole to another asshole. That is feminism to me.
what is striking to me is how your thinking about feminism is on the scale of your own experiences and interactions with people - i.e. feminism for you is about being an asshole or a nice person to people based on how they interact with you, but not based on their gender … but what is missing from this is any social or structural awareness of how women are treated differently, not necessarily by individuals, but by policies and more subtle differences, like the absence of women in positions of power (as politicians for example).
Not that there is anything wrong about reflecting on the ways that bias manifests on the individual scale, it just feels so different from what I typically encounter as feminism (which is more about activism and furthering equal rights and so on).
I think you’re misunderstanding my point.
Feminism isn’t about being an asshole vs a nice person. It’s about equality and it extends beyond gender.
Why are women treated differently? Why aren’t they given the same respect as everyone else? Why should anyone be denied an equal place in society based on things like race, class, gender etc.?
My only point about assholes is that an individual who is truly opposed to equality, is simply an asshole. Even assholes opposed to equality are still entitled to the same rights as anyone else, but the consequences of being an asshole (people not respecting or associating with you because you acted like a disrespectful asshole) are not violations of your rights.