So busy she’s got time to stage a fake photo from the toilet and make a wishy-washy LinkedIn post about how fucking busy she is.

Maybe I’m too empathetic, but I just feel bad for people like this.

Actual LinkedIn shitpost

This is one of those reasons why I really don’t mind the Web 2.0 Walled Garden to some degree.

LinkedIn makes the wall very high, and the people inside the wall are mostly insane like this. That’s not a walled garden, that’s an asylum.

In Buddhism, we would call it the realm of hungry ghosts, lower than the animal realm (as in base, animalistic desires) and one step above the hell realm. A realm of self-imposed suffering where people can’t do anything of merit to burn off karma.

And people like this don’t want to leave at all. It’s killing them, and they are deluded into “loving” it. Let them stay there. I don’t want their illness anywhere I normally enjoy life.

Look at that face, all wide eyed with a hint of a horny smile. That is a face of a person that’s just been caught looking at clown based scat porn …but is trying to play it off that she is working.
It’s a story as old as time!

Colonel Shitbucket

She wants to show that she is very dedicated to her job and career.

cant imagine getting a serious work e-mail from someone currently rappeling one down the white house

Talk about shit posting. Follow her for more unsolicited tips on spreading conjunctivitis, ruining your relationships with a burnout-inducing work ethic, and developing hemorrhoids from too long work shits.

Does being a weird little capitalist lickspittle even work on LinkedIn? I see people obviously trying to game the algorithm to gain exposure, including groups of devs sharing basic tips with each other and commenting to amplify, even though you’d think most hiring managers know that devs absolutely don’t go to LinkedIn to learn and share tips.

“Hey, you know who we should do business with? That lady who posts pictures of herself taking a shit!”

—Countless future business partners

Shitposting isn’t your job, Meg.

She definitely has shit particles all over that laptop.

Sets the tripod.
Checks the lightning isn’t too good.
Sets the timer.
Fails the first photo bcs pants, laptop, and positioning took too long.
Sets the timer again, this time by waddling to the phone.

“Omg, no, why would you take that picture, don’t you see I’m grinding!! You don’t get it, we are not the same.”

Makes a LinkedIn post.
Adds a shitty pun about shit.

I hate this so much.