Calling it here, Costco is going to use the genetic information to create the perfect hot dog.

When I plowed through that kindergarten I didn’t get as much as a single dent. If that isn’t an endorsement, then I don’t know what is.

Here’s a little known fact that is not true, which will bring some nuance to the previous anecdote, Benjamin Franklin ate babies.

Replace all the customer facing employees with chimpanzees with webcams that say in sign language: read what’s on the website. Whenever someone calls in or opens a chat, they’re connected with a chimp. Be sure to also include a guide to ASL on the company website. I guarantee sales will go up

We will turn you into the 6 million dollar cockroach

You’re gonna cook up a crazy theory like that and not even mention big daddy capitalism?

edit: I was making a joke, it didn’t land right. I agree with you, I probably wouldn’t be on this website if I didn’t.

Popsicles are fruit or water based. If it’s made with ice cream then it’s called an ice cream bar.

It was a source of joy for me. I still miss the sad horse.

I know these as freeze pops (the one on the left)

You mean popsicles?

Yes but with what’s happening in America right now there will be a lot less tourism.

One day you come home, you see all your stuff is in boxes. Then you see a note on the fridge, it says: “Womp womp” You fall to your knees and break down in tears. Through your tears you see another note underneath the fridge. You reach for the note. The note reads: “Womp, womp?” You began to laugh maniacally. You hear footsteps, you stop laughing. Your wife stands behind you. She says: “Kept you on your toes didn’t I?”

That depends on the bear’s tactical training, if the bear went through bootcamp then it’s one slap, if the bear is also a SEAL then it’s half a slap.

Somebody should infiltrate the incel community and convince them that they can get women by dressing up like cats and making baby sounds

Your desktop was cluttered so Microsoft AI agent formatted your hard drive. Please insert your credit card number to buy a new windows license.

Now you just need a gunpowder powered pulley system that whips your massive dong out of your fly after the motorized zipper opens your pants.

I didn’t read what you said but I like it, everyone gets a license plate on bluesky.

CPU = Chief Party Unicorn

No, you’re being facetious. Go sit in the corner.

Absolutely not, we’re talking about a man who serves fast food to athletes.