The Stoned Hacker

You’re not wrong but as one of those post-nihilistic absurdist youths (relatively speaking) it can be difficult to envision life past your 30s when it’s not unlikely that by that time the world will be in am unfathomably different and more dystopic state. As someone who does genuinely believe in a brighter future and acknowledges I need to do more to see it happen, I see myself enjoying that tomorrow in my 60s or 70s not anytime soon. I believe that we can get there but things are going to continue to get a lot lot worse for a good while before they have a chance to get better. Ignoring the geopolitical and socioeconomic states of the world and focusing on the issue the meme presents, even if we cut off all greenhouse gas emissions now we have a couple more decades of warming as emissions from the past 40 years haven’t fully taken effect. We have already surpassed multiple key tipping points for systemic collapse of global systems and it is likely that the damage caused in the Anthropocene is irreversible. Even being optimistic, we are well past prevention and are blowing by mitigation. I am hopeful for a brighter future, but that brighter future will be based on how we recover from these slow, impending calamities and how much of the planet we’ll be able to save from ourselves.

But the only way to do that is organization and communiry building so we can stop living in dire excess and out of sync with our ecosystem. Finding a sustainable equilibrium with our planet and natural resources is key, which will require an overhaul of existinf systems of governance

I care about displaced people in general and stand in solidarity with all of the oppressed of the world. That includes many varieties of Americans including the indigenous people of North America who have been displaced and genocided by Euro-American colonialism and also rural and suburban Americans who are being run out of their communities for the sake of capital and profit. And my heart extends to those outside of the US from Palestine to Sudan to the Congo to every other corner of the Earth.

but AI is increasing the rate at whoch data centers are being built which is putting enormous strain on a lot of communities with aging or inadequate public infrastructure and utilities like water and electricity. Some people have seen water and/or electricity prices double or have even lost access to their public utilities because everything is being routed to a nearby datacenter thats younger than their kids. And in many instances politicians are ignoring the communities they’re displacing because theres significant money involved.

just leave them in place (within reason). your chickens probably loved the leaves because a lot of native bugs use dead leaves to lay their eggs; both mowing the leaves and giving them to the chickens probably killed a lottttt of bugs. and it removes important nutrients from your homes immediate surrounding ecosystem. you’ll save butterflies and fireflies!

thats very valid and understandable. im not gonna try and tell you how to fix it because i genuinely have no clue, but i will say i think that scene from Avatar The Last Airbender about clogged chakras is very enlightening. The past two years i was in a terrible, slow depression spiral due to burning myself out of tech and cybersecurity. I stopped working on my homelab, i stopped doing pretty much all my schoolwork, and my work was suffering. i barely managed to maintain my work enough to not get put on an improvement plan, but my boss was definitely picking up on my poor performance. about a year ago i got into raving and that was grear except for that fact i dove into it as a form of escapism. i threw myself into partying, drugs, and sex to procrastinate on and shirk my responsibilities. this led to me failing all my classes for what was supposed to be my last term of uni, and it just consumed my entire life. combined with an unhealthy relationship that brought me to my breaking point, i had to accept that something was off and seriously wrong. i was developing a bad drug abuse problem and was isolating myself more and more from the people that loved me, which was something i was used to and would do periodically. combined with the US imploding in on itself, my mental health was quite possibly the worst it had since I was a young kid, and maybe even the worst its ever been.

these past few months I’ve realized im trans and have begun making progress on transitioning. i opened up to my parents about my drug abuse and transitioning, and as ive gone along this journey it just feels like more and more who i am is unclogging and flowing downstream. I’m happier, more content, and actually handling my responsibilities (mostly). im getting more involved in ny local community so that the headlines don’t kill me as much, and I’m consistently communicating and reaching out to the peopke that are important to me. these past few days even ive finally started working on tech projects again for the first time in 2 years and am happy to say my homelab is getting the TLC it deserves. i am also finally looking into getting medicated for my ADHD, although time will tell if I stick with it as I personally love the raw, unfiltered chaos that is my brain (but im gonna give it a fair shake).

I guess im writing this to say that I don’t know what will help you, but it sounds like you got a lot of gunk gumming up and blocking your pools of flowing water. i haven’t a clue what will help clear that up tbh; maybe its medications, maybe it’s your environment, maybe you also are in the closet without realizing it. but i think if you can at least start to figure out whats blocking you, then the path forward will unfold itself. i wish you the best of luck on your joruney, friend. It’s dangerous to go alone, take this: <3

ETA: i still rave, party, fuck, and do drugs. I just don’t let it consume my everything. I wouldn’t have figured out who I was without raving, it was just a necessary step in my journey that has brought me to very high highs and very low lows.

as someone with mental illness, you sometimes have to try to find the silver linings. is it good, beautiful, or romantic when i bedrot and am not taking care of myself? absolutely not. but is it an enjoyable, romantic, and intimate experience to bedrot with someone else? yes, yes it is.

also there is a certain beauty to the aesthetic of someone with ADHD no-lifing a project and creating something incredible. that chaos can be lovely even if it derails the rest of your life

A) you don’t know someone’s situation so don’t pass judgement when there are very valid reasons theg may not have the time of energy, as if mental health isn’t a valid reason already

B) soaking for 5 minutes is definitely not the same getting a good long soak

meanwhile i set a wait and save so i have time to finish getting ready and uber tells me it’s already arrived.

There’s an infinite amount of numbers within a range but the limits of the range are still constraints. What’s to say the end of our lives is a constraint on the multiverse? Maybe within a local minima of historically similar universes one individual’s life could be so important that theres a shared constraint, but I kinda doubt that that exists across the entire multiverse. But really we will never know. As such your partner isn’t wrong still, they just have to take an agnostic approach that there’s no way to know. But it’s not wrong to choose to believe that your deaths are not constraints on the entire multiverse, that’s just their interpretation.

How up to date are your graphics drivers/backend?

im approaching zero trust as assume everything is compromised until you verify it is not

It’s why I think it’s a shame the zero-trust is kinda a buzzword. this is exactly the type of situation where an actual zero trust architecture would be extremely useful.