I had about three novels ready to start editing and working on in my younger years, sweeping epics, and I had ideas about time and space and started taking college courses towards a physics degree.
All of that went on hold for so long that when the last big financial crash happened after the housing bubble popped, I’ve been treading water ever since, and sinking a few times, until I am now ragged, worn out and every day is just a mental exercise of if I am making enough money at a job that should be paying salary to afford to pay off debts so I can prepare to charge inevitable major medical expenses to my credit cards if I have to.
Writing? Learning and contributing to the world? Fuck no. I will be LUCKY at this point if I have a job when I hit 68 or whatever the retirement age is now, that doesn’t require manual labor. I don’t have any inspiration or drive to write fiction, I have lost most of my passion for actually learning physics and just catch the latest discoveries on youtube as I literally fall asleep.
The constant pressures of staying above water have turned me from an active participant in the world, to someone who will likely disappear without more than another couple people in the whole world knowing what was going on in my mind.





Except that’s a completely made-up idea of how this goes. I have a lot of experience in this area… the idea here being explained is that there is a very real growing wave of anti-intellectualism, and this is not growing in the fields of science, but dumbasses who spend all their time online listening to cranks like Eric Weinstein or Anti-vaxxers who lean on the idea that we can’t “calculate a system with 3 electrons” as evidence that since science doesn’t know how to do X, then why should we believe that there’s an accurate model for Y?? and people who don’t KNOW anything about the topic connect with that rhetoric because it appeals to feelings, not reason.
People do not fucking turn anti science because someone who knows science tries to explain science any more than this kind of “change in values.”
And nobody says that. I immediately know that someone is constructing a whole straw universe when someone claims anyone representing science ever claims “everything is pretty much explained” because that’s not how science WORKS. it’s just a word that means a process… we look at shit, we come up with ideas for why that thing is like that, then we do tests to see if that model works, and we collect those successes as facts. It’s a process that doesn’t even claim to “explain” anything.