Many ways. in order from first to last the ones that I remember and qualify as stupid are:

When I was very young i put a toy into a coal fire, regretted my decision and tried to retrieve the molten plastic.

I tried to carry a pan of boiling chickpeas over my shoulder and ended up spilling it down my back

I tried cycling down a steep hill while holding an ice-cream and hurt my nuts on the stem of the handlebars when I had to stop.

Went down a steep hill on a scooter and stopped on my head (this one required stitches).

Worked on a boat without a helmet and got slapped in the side of the head with a crane hook.

Tried jumping over a Wheely bin while rat-arsed and face planted on the pavement.

There are plenty more accidents that were just shitty luck, but these are the avoidable ones.

Edit: I also managed to slice open my finger with a kitchen knife while removing the seed from a mango.

I’m aware of dead hand. It’s like the Sampson option in Israel. But I’m pretty sure NATO has some form of icbm defence system. No guts no glory!

Just use conventional weaponry to flatten Moscow and st Petersburg. Russia is those two cities if they fall the country disintergrates with them. Either way when you’re dealing with the Russians, anything less than taking out your dick and beating them to death with it won’t be respected.