I went to a private elementary school where I was pretty picked on. One of my parents grew up poor and was an immigrant, the other grew up poor and rural, so neither really understood why I had a hard time socially in a suburban private school with mostly wealthy kids.They didn’t know how to help.
I transferred to a public middle school where I was neither popular nor unpopular. My elementary years taught me to avoid relationships so I just tried to blend in and keep things very surface level with other kids. I had no close friends but I was not being picked on.
In high school I developed a couple of closer friendships, but I would not say that I ever completely let my guard down. Like middle school, I wasn’t really picked on but I was certainly not one of the popular kids. I did let myself join athletics so I developed more self confidence, but social relationships were still superficial.
I’m now in my 40s and have been confronting myself about the fact that other than my wife and kids, I’ve not let myself have too many close relationships. I know it was self protective, but it also kept me isolated. My wife cannot and should not be the one person who meets all my needs.
I’m putting myself out there a bit more but man is it hard to make new friends at this age. Better late than never I guess.
If you don’t care about gaining muscle and mainly want to lose fat then the fastest way to do that is reducing calorie intake. In other words, diet, diet, diet. And not just as a temporary thing, but as a long term endeavor. Otherwise you will gain everything you lost back.
For perspective, on average running a mile burns 100-150 calories. A plain donut has anywhere from 150-400 calories. So if you have a donut you will need to run at least a mile to cancel it out, probably more. Or you can simply eat healthy by skipping the donut and focusing on lean meats, veggies, and healthy fats. Processed foods and sugary foods are about the worst you can eat for losing fat, so avoid them outright.
I have also found that intermittent fasting helps a lot for losing fat. The longer you go without replenishing calories, the longer your body stays in ketosis, where your body burns fat for fuel instead of glucose. The hardest part is the first week or two, but your body will adjust and the hunger pangs do go away. Pick a realistic schedule and stick to it where you only eat in a certain window of time. 16:8 is great for starting off, where for 16 hours a day you don’t eat anything (water is fine), and for 8 hours you can. So for example you could avoid eating until 11am, and you would have until 7pm to have additional meals. After 7 you stop eating untill 11am the next day.
Also drink lots of water. Often time when your body feels hungry, you don’t actually need calories, you probably need water. Water also helps you feel more full so you will want to snack less. In fact, if you tend to drink sugary drinks like soda, replacing everything with water will have noticeable results pretty quickly. If you’re a coffee drinker, learn to drink it black if you don’t already. There’s virtually no calories in black coffee or tea.
Exercise is great and there are many good reasons to exercise. I highly recommend it. It will help some with losing fat, especially cardio, but not if you don’t change your diet. I would put more effort into changing (and maintaining) your diet at first if you want to lose fat.