…and centuries of royal inbreeding
gotta nuke somethin’
¯\ _ (ツ) _ /¯
no, don’t do that
yo ho, matey! shiver me timbers and man the fuck-down!
SNAKE EYES
similar 100% true story from a green text:
kid goes out for his 21st, and grandpa tells him that the secret to never getting too drunk is drinking some olive oil before a shot, so that the alcohol never enters the bloodstream, or something.
they follow through, and shit their pants after one round; ironically, the oil drinking did technically prevent them from getting drunk.
I don’t care if it’s fake, it’s still a hilarious idea
still using Jerboa since I joined up, and I’m so used to it now that other apps just feel off. I was a rif user in the before-times, and jerboa has the same kind of stripped-down vibe I’m comfortable with
“Alright, it’s taken 20 minutes to initialize and warm up, let’s try a test print-”
GUTTER CLEANING IN PROGRESS
“Well that’s okay, I’m sure it’s part of routine maintena-”
SEQUENCING OFF
“No, damnit, I need to get the line running!”
…
MAKEUP LEVEL TOO LOW
“But I just changed the cartridge…”
MAKEUP LEVEL TOO LOW
crying and putting on lipstick
“Please, I have a family!”
MAKEUP LEVEL TOO HIGH
“Okay, I’ll do anything, just let me print these batch codes…”
READY TO PRINT
“Thank you, oh merciful machine, I owe you my-”
GUTTER CLEANING IN PROGRESS
trinkets and baubles
the lost bastille
the future of AI is making fake testimonials as advertisements