It’s kind of similar to Russia right now; in order for the country to change - and it NEEDS to change - ordinary people would need to take drastic action. The USA in Afghanistan kind of demonstrates just how incredibly hard it is for even an ultra-powerful external force to do that.
Heck, look at formerly-Nazi Germany. It’s now a stupendous place to live, but look at what needed to get it there. In addition to multiple countries toppling the regime, they needed Germans to be active about their beliefs in the future of their nation, to the point they were willing to literally dismantle a wall.
I don’t claim to be able to give them a guidebook, but I definitely think when the Taliban does fall, it would have to come at least from heavy, confrontational, violent rejection of them from the locals.
Thing is, you can find the most trustworthy politican in Afghanistan, dump a truckload of 4 billion at his doorstep…
…and then the next day, the Taliban knocks on his door with a gang armed with AK-47s, and they announce “Hello! I heard you wished to make a $4bil donation to the Taliban’s women-beating fund!” What’s he going to do in retaliation?
Hence why re-establishment projects keep the money on the part of the project (in this case, the US military) until they have places to spend that money (the infrastructure). Course, we can’t do that now.