An HOA (home owners associations) can say what color you can paint your house, What you can plant in your yard, What you can have in your driveway, and some even say what color your blinds can be.
Microsoft controls your computer, they say what info is sent back to Microsoft, and they say when you must upgrade. They can shut down your computer when they want whether you like it or not.
The first two are not true on my distro
People complain about being notified about windows updates all the time, and they generally install quietly in the background for me while I get on with my work
The only time I consciously update is when I get wind of a CVE
Debian lights up an icon in the System Tray. When I am ready I can either click on that icon to bring up the package manager GUI or I can open a Konsole window and run ‘sudo nala update’ then ‘sudo nala upgrade’. (Nala is a beautiful front end for apt)