So, I’m baby trans. I’m exploring, at what feels like a glacial pace, but feel the urge to do something more. More, different clothes, idk. **But ** I think I have this fear of looking ridiculous with something and just hating myself and getting depressed, so I just don’t.

I was thinking I was “afraid of feeling dysphoric”, but today I started wondering, it’s that fear actually the dysphoria?

Bonus thought; the wanting to explore, but not knowing what to do, feels a little bit like when you have an itch on your back and try to get someone to help but they more of chase it around until you just give up. It’s like that. My gender is itchy and I can’t figure out how to scratch it 🤣

  • RadicalEagle@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Yeah for sure. So I grew up around a bunch of people who thought tattoos were inappropriate. And because everyone said they were inappropriate, I grew up believing they were inappropriate.

    It wasn’t until later in life I realized I actually thought tattoos were cool and the only reason I didn’t have any is because I never actually made a choice based on my opinion. I was living based on someone else’s.

    (Or replace “tattoos” with whatever you in particular feel bad/stressed about.)