love isn’t the opposite of hate, apathy is. If you truly despise her, cut off contact, she is your mother and this will cause her profound pain. I’m assuming you’re pretty young to be feeling this way, whatever the problem is, you will understand it and its roots better as you get older. One day you might think about her differently as you understand her more. There’s always a reason why broken people do broken things. Good luck and don’t do anything dumb