Back when I was a kid, I once decided to cook potato salad. This particular recipe calls for mayonnaise, so I decided to make some mayonnaise. My go-to acid is apple cider vinegar, and I thought it looked a bit darker than usual but I didn’t think much of it.

Once the mayonnaise was finished, I tasted it, and it was weirdly disgusting. I tried saving it, but gave up and re-did the whole thing. Which again turned out vile. I couldn’t figure out why exactly it was gross, but it had this really off-putting heady flavour that just didn’t work at all. Called on my mother to test it, and she also went “yeah that’s pretty gross.”

Turns out this skank had fucking poured some old red wine she’d found in the back of the pantry, into an apple cider vinegar bottle, because she figured it was on its way to become red wine vingegar and somehow the apple cider vinegar bottle is more suited than the red wine bottle it was already in? I guess it had started turning into vinegar, on account of it having soured and worked perfectly well in the mayonnaise emulsion, but it was still vile.