Have you been able to overcome it and grow?
When I’m mentally unwell, I isolate myself instead of sharing the load with the loved ones in my life that would jump at the opportunity to support me. I fear being seen in a vulnerable state and given enough rumination I can easily find “reasons” why maybe it would be for the best if I disappeared for a bit instead.
I haven’t been able to directly overcome it yet, but I’ve become aware enough to communicate it and people in my life at least know the signs of it happening now.
I can’t focus at all. I blame the government for banning most focus enhancing drugs.
I used to be a stereotypical wall puncher, it was so fucking embarassing. Been sober off the drywall dust for a few years now
There have been a couple of people who used to maybe not treat me the best. Over the past couple of years, they have drastically changed that behavior. It’s been challenging for me to ALLOW them to change and not respond to them the same way I used to (defensively).
I still occasionally say negative and dismissive stuff about myself, like “no one cares for me” or “I really don’t matter” etc. At least I’m able to catch myself sometimes, and last time it happened was at a party where it was hard to hear what anyone was saying unless you really focused
So many. Not being able to regulate emotions, which led to me throwing “temper tantrums” kind of. 7 years of therapy and I think I had major breakthrough. I am still evaluating it, but I am fairly confident that I might have overcome it.
What do you feel was the precursor to the breakthru?
It is really difficult to explain, but I will try it. I was greatly distressed one day, and decided to write an essay on Community and Compassion. As I was writing it, it basically came out as a rant and increased my distress and I was able identify a thought that was running in my head. It said “I am not enough.” I don’t why, but I reversed it and started ‘chanting’ “I am enough”. I immediately felt like a huge wait lifted from my mind. I felt lighter. So, basically that became my chant now.
In retrospect, it made sense and yet, it was really hard for me to become aware of it. But, in the end, all those therapy sessions paid off, even if I had lost hope.
This is what some call “mindfulness”. The ability to be aware of feeling an emotion, and then to be able to step outside of that and ask “why am I feeling that?”. You can then start to work on the cause rather than the symptoms.
If you ever get taught meditation, a lot of it is about letting the mind go in the direction it wants to go, catching it, noting it, and then resetting. Lather, rinse, repeat.
You just did it when you were writing an essay.
I get jealous / insecure with my partner drinking with single dudes, I’m working on it, but definitely haven’t overcome it
I’d rather say something clever than accurate or useful… and often do.
Do you have a reputation as a strict bullshitter/shootshitter lol?
I’m not sure what “strict” means in this sentence, but I make my money with my mouth, yeah.
All or nothing, crab-in-a-bucket mentality. Being aware of it helps…
