cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/36766269
I know lemmy is titled to the left, so most probable answer is going to be no, managers are our enemy, but hear me out.
I always thought like this: I’m there to work and earn money, not to make friends, not to fake a friendship with any manager. If they fire me, no manager is going to ask me how I’m holding up or what my plans for the future are. What may look like a friendship is all fake.
There is, however, a manager where I work at that everybody agrees she is friendly and goes the extra mile to help employees. When I say everybody I mean that literally, none of the coworkers I asked said anything remotely bad about this person. At my company there are other managers everybody agrees are narcissistic morons and everyone hates them.
I had an argument with this manager everyone likes and after thinking about it, it was mostly my fault we raised our voices. She raised her voice first but because I wasn’t listening to her because she triggered me.
I feel bad about it and I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I’d like to have a private conversation with her to apologize and explain why she triggered me. She also does typical things any manager does that I find very unfair that I want to explain so she maybe stops it.
Is being honest and having such a conversation a stupid idea?
Admitting you were wrong in a situation (or opinion) is a very mature and strong skill to have. It also makes communication and relations much more honest. A lot of people never learn this.
So, if you know you were wrong. Sincerely apologize. Then stop! No complaining, no blaming. And especially no bitching about being triggered. Being triggered is on you, not her.
If the conversation is going well enough you might be able to explain yourself a bit for mutual understanding. But for now it is on you to make up for the breakdown in communication. You don’t have to be her friend, but you are both adults and need to work together in at least a professional courtesy. Save any feedback for a later conversation and try to keep emotions out of it.
Good luck!