cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/36766269

I know lemmy is titled to the left, so most probable answer is going to be no, managers are our enemy, but hear me out.

I always thought like this: I’m there to work and earn money, not to make friends, not to fake a friendship with any manager. If they fire me, no manager is going to ask me how I’m holding up or what my plans for the future are. What may look like a friendship is all fake.

There is, however, a manager where I work at that everybody agrees she is friendly and goes the extra mile to help employees. When I say everybody I mean that literally, none of the coworkers I asked said anything remotely bad about this person. At my company there are other managers everybody agrees are narcissistic morons and everyone hates them.

I had an argument with this manager everyone likes and after thinking about it, it was mostly my fault we raised our voices. She raised her voice first but because I wasn’t listening to her because she triggered me.

I feel bad about it and I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I’d like to have a private conversation with her to apologize and explain why she triggered me. She also does typical things any manager does that I find very unfair that I want to explain so she maybe stops it.

Is being honest and having such a conversation a stupid idea?

  • chargen@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    14 hours ago

    You’re entering into these relationships with a lot of negativity. Please consider the person holding the position and approach the potential relationship with a positive, constructive mindset. You’d be surprised what can happen.

    Regarding the apology, go for it, but I think it should include a promise to bring your better self forward if a difference of opinion comes up so it doesn’t devolve into an argument.

    Regarding criticism of things the manager does: hard no. That’s not your place and IMO no good can come of it. Just put it right out of your mind.

    • ricesoup@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      4 hours ago

      Regarding criticism of things the manager does: hard no. That’s not your place and IMO no good can come of it. Just put it right out of your mind.

      then a genuine relationship with this person or with any manager fwiw is not possible.

      I like to have genuine people in my life, including the workplace. The fake ones always drain me.