i’m talking like, ‘the ability to perfectly sort a single drawer of socks once a month.’ how do you even market that to potential supervillains? or, you know, just for fun. bonus points for trying to make it sound vaguely useful.
Being able to turn off the lights by clapping.
Being able to shrink in height by 1 inch for 1 minute.
Being able to hear your hair and other people’s hair, growing. Like knowing the speed.
Having incredibly high scent sensitivity to human odors.
Being able to intentionally sneeze at will but not having the ability to stop a naturally occurring sneeze.
Please stop
You can instantly stop yourself from hiccuping.
You can jump over your house, but only when no one is looking and you have to be naked for it to work.
Travel un time. But only toward future. And at a time scale of 1.
Woohoo! I have a super power!
Blowing other people’s runny noses, with your mind.
You can kill anyone by thinking of it but it’s only works on people you love.
I’m going to steal this from my favorite author, the power to arrive late to things, and it frequently happens even if you aren’t trying to.
Bonus power: the power to get an excessive amount of water on the floor when washing dishes.
There are many more, it’s a fun series.
Don’t know if it’s the most stupid, because it might alleviate bed sores in a situation of long term illness but levitating about one centimetre when in rem sleep seems pretty useless.
You can fly but only a couple of inches above the ground and only at walking pace.
Having an arm that can pass through a hole of any size, but only in one direction.
Oh no!
“Moooom! Daaaad! I’m stuck again!”
- ability to read one’s own mind
- super strength for 29 seconds
- ability to turn translucent
You can turn invisible, but only when no one is looking at you. Cameras and animals count!
Somebody once told me…
You can apply the perfect amount of any condiment to a sandwich with your mind.
You can communicate with phytoplankton in French.
Eating vegetables makes you repellant to a T-Rex.
You can perfectly remove all stickers/tags from new stuff you just bought




